Your Better Mental Wellbeing Podcast

Do you have a habit or something that you keep doing over and over again that frustrates you or others around you? A habit that you really want to change? Rewiring your brain to improve how you act is possible. That's what we're going to talk about today on Your Better Mental Wellbeing, helping you to manage stress and build resilience with easy, evidence based tools.

Hello and a very warm welcome to you to this brand new podcast. You're listening to Episode 1, Upgrading Your Habits. I'm Dr. Neera Dholakia. I'm a GP for Boots Online Doctor and the NHS and my expertise is in mental health and wellbeing. I've enjoyed working with NHS England, Healthy London Partnership and mental health trusts designing services for mental health and I'm really pleased to be hosting the show focusing on improving your mental wellbeing.

Just before we get into it, I wanted to let you know that Boots Online Doctor has lots of great information on lifestyle and well being. You'll find this on the website at onlinedoctor.boots.com.

Now let's get off autopilot and talk about habits.

I've got this habit of questioning if I've locked my front door. So on a regular basis, I leave my house, get halfway down the street, and then the thoughts come in. Did I lock the door? I must have locked the door. I don't remember actually locking the door. Should I go back and check? I'm sure it'll be okay. I don't want to get burgled. I'll miss my train if I go back. And then, why do I do this every time? Why am I not being more careful? It's a whole train of thoughts that comes in.

Well, I waste time in indecision. I waste time going back and checking, and sometimes it can bother me during the day. It also annoys anyone I'm with, particularly if we have to go back and check.

Only once in ten years of living there.

Yes, exactly. And I want to change my behaviour so that I can feel secure and calm and get on with my day without worrying about that. Soen, what about you?

And why do you actually care about being tidy, do you think?

Okay, so on that note, let's talk about what habits are and how we can adapt and change them.

Habits are behaviours that we repeatedly do, things that we do over and over again, and often they become something we do on autopilot. So by consciously repeating a task, the brain learns to do it automatically, so we don't spend much thought or effort doing it. Some habits that we do on autopilot are really important and helpful for us, such as walking, brushing our teeth and chopping vegetables. And some habits we do on autopilot are unhelpful and can be frustrating or have a negative impact on us. Things like snacking, nail biting, or flicking through our phones before bedtime. Many of our problems and stresses in our lives are actually habits.

When we think of our habits, many of us think of habits we want to add into our lives. Perhaps they are healthy habits such as exercising more, eating better or drinking more water. We might have even tried to develop these habits before, but they haven't stuck. The first and most important thing is that we can change. Our brains have the ability to adapt and rewire. You can learn to write with your other hand, drive a car on the wrong side of the road, or learn to play a musical instrument whether you're 8 or 80, so there's always hope that you can do something differently.

So how can we change? Today, let's focus on simple habits we already have and want to change, and these tools will be the building blocks to developing other habits we want to start. Soen, how does the brain rewire itself?

Yes, I remember going on holiday and having to drive on the other side of the road. I was used to sitting on the right side using my left hand to change the gears, so doing this totally on autopilot. Instead, I was now sitting on the left side and I needed to use my right hand to change the gears. However, my natural reaction was to use my left hand, and so I kept accidentally trying to open the car door or wind the window down.

They were a bit terrified, but eventually I got used to it, and it actually felt strange going back to driving the other way. So what we need to do is to stop reinforcing the pathway or habit we're used to doing, and intentionally replace it with something else, something more helpful, and then repeat this over and over again to really establish the new pathway and the new habit.

That's true. But also when you do make a change, every time you achieve it, you get a boost your self esteem and this releases dopamine, a feel good chemical, which you do also get from eating chocolate, but here it signals to your brain that you did something positive and this gives you the push to stick with it and makes you more likely to do it again. So this is particularly important when we are changing unhelpful habits, such as reacting with fear. For example, being scared of seeing a snake, or seeing or feeling a needle or injection. It also includes feeling fear or anxiety when in a social situation or when needing to perform.

I have. I've found that I often check my pocket to make sure my wallet is in there, and I keep my keys in the same pocket as my wallet. So when I check for my wallet, I think about my keys and my brain fires up.

The first thing is to notice and observe the cue or trigger. What do you notice about the notification? Is it a sound or a buzz? Or just a symbol to alert you? Are they set for particular times of day, for example, waking hours only? And do you get them for all your apps or just ones that you really want to know about? So really pay attention to what you then do. What action you take on getting that notification. So do you feel the urge to look straight away? Could you leave it until a more convenient time? And if you don't look at it, does it distract you from the activity you're doing? And if you do look at it, how long do you spend? And once you've finished, how long does it take for you to resume what you were doing before? Then think about how much do you really want to change this habit? Ask yourself, why do you want to change it? Then ask yourself, how does this habit make you feel? This is how we can use thoughts and emotions to build motivation to change.

Also, it's got to be achievable for it to be sustainable and for you to continue with it.

Think about what would really work for you that you could follow through on, keep going with, even when you're feeling exhausted and your motivation is really low.

You can enable the change by focusing on the cue. You could change your notification settings, taking off the push ones from certain apps, perhaps change the times that notifications come through or from which people, or you could take off the notifications altogether and set aside some specific times in the day to give yourself space to catch up on the various posts and pictures and videos and stories. By turning off or ignoring notifications, you're then removing that trigger that we talked about earlier.

Right, this is really common. We start off with great intentions, but then something gets us off track, and it's hard to get back on, and we feel that we've failed. We end up falling back into old patterns and habits, as that is the strongest pathway we currently have. Here, we're dealing with willpower and motivation. Motivation is the purpose, the why you want to change something and the reason to keep going. And willpower is the ability to control yourself and the decisions you make to change.

Both willpower and motivation are important in changing habits, but they're not enough on their own. Willpower works like a muscle, and it gets tired as it works harder. And like other muscles, when you're feeling low, tired, or don't have as much energy, it's much harder for it to work. And motivation can come after you start doing something. Particularly if you see some early results, you might be able to build some motivation. But it's also inconsistent. It varies with your energy levels, your mood, and with the pressures of daily life. So you can't rely on willpower and motivation, as they may let you down. This is why it's important to focus on one small change. That you can keep doing repeatedly to build that habit, even when your willpower and motivation is low. Remember to be kind to yourself by keeping it simple.

Yes, I discovered that I was completely on autopilot when leaving the house. I was picking up my keys, locking the door and then walking away. And I was already thinking about the day ahead and what I needed to do. So, I actually decided to really notice putting my wallet in my pocket. and putting the keys in the lock, being present in the moment and acknowledging to myself that I had locked the door. So initially I said it out loud, but eventually just in my mind. And a friend told me that they had a similar issue and actually videoed themselves locking their door.

It's only been a couple of weeks, but yes, a few times I've not paid attention when I've been in a hurry, or when I've already put some music on, or when I've been talking to someone else.

And that's really encouraging, Soen. What's been your experience making a change to your habit of leaving things untidy?

Absolutely. Mindfulness meditation has been shown to increase neuroplasticity. It improves something called our interoceptive awareness, which is how the brain tunes into the signals from the body, and this can lead to reduced stress and anxiety. More on that in the next episode.

Soen, it's been really great talking about our habits and how we can change them.

Neuroplasticity allows our brains to rewire, forming new connections and pathways, and in this way new habits can form and become automatic. When we want to make a change, we need to ask ourselves why we want to do it and how important it is to us. Then by developing our awareness of our habit, we can notice and observe what happens when the habit is in action, what the cues or triggers are, and how we respond to them. Then we can think about what changes we are able to make to break the cycle.

We can't rely on willpower and motivation alone, so the key is to make the change something we can do over and over again, and letting go of thoughts of failure if we slip up, because we can get going with it again. It's also important to be kind to ourselves and start by making small changes that are achievable and sustainable. And accept that we need these building blocks to make those bigger changes we want and to develop new healthy life habits.

And I'm going to keep working on paying attention to actually locking the door.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Your Better Mental Wellbeing.

Join us next time for episode 2, Managing Stressful Moments.

And remember to live your values, accept yourself, and let go.